I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
