oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
and you fell through a lawn chair
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
