The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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