Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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