Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
