I just saw a hot homeless man
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
