But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
