glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
