Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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