Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
someone threw a dead crab at me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
