I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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