Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
