dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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