sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
