uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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