Got a toothbrush?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You are the jesus of drinking
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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