My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
