I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
