Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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