I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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