Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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