She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
