can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
