I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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