I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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