yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
