I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
