You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
