dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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