do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
