I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
