I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
