I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
no you cant smoke seaweed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
