I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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