3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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