went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
