bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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