I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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