What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
