I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
