textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
