Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
