Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
