I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I didn't notice because vodka
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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