then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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