playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
