I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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