found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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