hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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