I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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